retire

Someone asked me, "Now that you're retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that? "Very simple. The wife has told me that when she wants my f$%#@*^ advice, she'll ask me...

So help me out here. I'm seriously considering retiring in Ohio. I've seen several jobs on usajobs.gov in Dayton and even a few in Columbus that I might qualify for. Now, I'm just about guaranteed a job making 80K to 110K a year in MD or VA. Why should I move back to Ohio and get a job...