7/22/2013
Ohio Gun Club Wants to Arm Everyone, Including Teachers and Killers:
The low-flying motherfucker is a more common species than you might imagine. All over the nation, low-flying motherfuckers exist, unseen until the moment that they end up fucking a mother and then, all of a sudden, you think, "What was that that just fucked all those mothers?" Of course, once you know that a low-flying motherfucker exists, you can do your best to flush it out and throttle that bastard before more mothers are quite unwittingly fucked. They are such small-dicked creatures that mothers may not even realize they've been fucked until they're told about that stain on their pants later. The problem is that even a low-flying motherfucker is still a motherfucker, and those motherfuckers are tenacious and hard-to-kill. Sometimes you try to stomp one out and it only gets stronger. So you have to approach the eradication carefully. Although, oddly enough, often sunshine is all it takes to do the trick.
Chances are that you never heard or gave a jolly rat's shit about the Buckeye Firearms Foundation. But now they will forever be known as "That Group of Assholes Who Want to Buy George Zimmerman a New Gun." Yes, the Ohio gun clubhouse is gonna take up the cause of arming George Zimmerman because someone might follow him and end up shooting him, perhaps in the course of a fight. Vigilante justice is a bit imprecise that way.
See, since the Department of Justice is investigating the death of Trayvon Martin and Zimmerman's actions, the state of Florida has to keep all the evidence from the case, including the gun used to kill an unarmed teenager, which is the kind of souvenir no amount of money can really buy you. As the BFF (oh, just fuck them) says, "We have created the Zimmerman Second Amendment Fund. We encourage you to donate whatever you can afford, $100 ... $50 ... $25 ... even just $10. We will provide Mr. Zimmerman, who has no current source of income, with the funds he needs to replace his firearm, holster, and other gear. The rest will be set aside to fight similar injustices ... and they happen all the time." That means that after the one or two people who run the "organization" spend $300 bucks or so on a new 9mm pistol, they'll keep the rest of your coin. To fight for freedom or some such shit.
But if you think that giving a gift to Zimmerman is the only action of these, you know, motherfuckers, then you need to check out the top of their webpage. The BFF (that's just sad) isn't only re-arming a known killer in Florida. It's making sure that teachers in Ohio receive, in the words of the dickless soulsucking attorney for BFF, Ken Hanson, "active killer" training. Yep, the BFF is raising $100,000 to train hundreds of teachers to carry weapons and be able to shoot shooters in a cross-classroom shootout that will no doubt end with everyone fine in the 1st grade art class. The BFF wants you to give up $20 for a box of ammo because each teacher uses 1000 rounds of ammo per class. "So I guess the question is, 'Are our kids worth $20?'" the group asks.
On Saturday, the Rude Pundit drove past a bunch of mostly African Americans lined up near a pickup truck under I-10 at Poydras Street in New Orleans. He thought it was one of the marches for Trayvon Martin. But it was not. An African American man on the back of the truck was handing out sacks of food. The line, at least 50 strong, was there to get charity food. The Rude Pundit is gonna give $20 to Second Harvest Food Bank of New Orleans. On his donation, he will say, "Because no one needs more guns."
