Lol. Yea, it was a 44 mag (329?) I bought for bear protection while fishing. I wanted something small and light...I couldn't of committed suicide with that damn thing! I can shoot plenty of semi auto pistols with ease...something about those damn revolvers though. Only one I owned that I could actually hit a target, repeatedly, was an old 3 screw with bone grips.
Giles I'm not passing judgement on you but trying to help.
I'm going out on a short limb here by saying 'it's not the gun but the shooter'. I'll say you have couple shooting bad habits problems that are common with pistol shooters and you don't know you have the problems. But the inner problems can and will be over come if you give it a honest try with a good pistol trainer.
I'm living proof of this training. In 1978 I started shooting pistol and I was a terrible shot. My friend Dale seen this and offered to train me. I had 2 pistol shooting problems. 1st was I had a inner fear of the pistol going off and hurting me with the recoil, 2nd was I closed my eyes when I shot. Neither of these 2 things is conductive to accurate shooting. I didn't know I was doing either of these 2 things.
So Dale would load the pistol and have me shoot and I never knew if the pistol was loaded or empty. This showed me directly my problems and I over came the 2 problems. To this day I still need to talk myself through each shot. And I'm proud to say I've become a damn good pistol shooter. But it took time and a lot of shooting to do so. When we are out shooting and someone is having problems shooting a pistol my son says 'give the pistol to my dad to shoot'. I shoot it and generally it shoots good, then you can work with the shooter to improve but most of the time it doesn't help much.
Now Giles this statement is not pointed directly at you but men in general. With that being said 'some men are very difficult to train to shoot'. The main problem is some men think they know everything already and just can't overcome the fact they don't know as much as they think they do. Women and kids are the easiest to train as long as they have the desire to learn and aren't forced into it. But some young boys are difficult as they think they know everything already especially when in a group girls. They want to show the girls they are better, and when the girls advance past them most boys find a reason to quit.
So with proper training you will find you can shoot a pistol rather good. The other thing that caused your problem was is you tried to shoot a very light pistol with a powerful load. It just isn't going to work with a new shooter. If you would have shot light 44 Special loads out of the same pistol to train you would have found it was very accurate.Then worked your way up with more powerful loading. But this is easy to say for someone who reloads all his own bullets.
I would have recommended to start with a 22LR, then advance one at a time with 38 SPL, 357 Mag, 44 SPL, 44 Mag regular loads, then heavy weight 44 Mag loadings. Only advance when you became a good shooter with the last load and if you can't advance then to stop there until you do become a good shot.
Gee this post got long. So work at it and you will overcome it.