sex

The year is 2222 and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they havelaptop computers, how they make money, etc.Finally, Maureen...

My teenage daughter came home in a rage. ‘I’ve just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!’ I put down my paper: ‘Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.’

A gas station owner near Prior Lake in Minesota, was trying to increase sales. So he put up a sign that read,"Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he...

When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're having sex and you catch something, that's bad. Fish don't compare you to other fishermen and don't want to know how many other fish you caught. In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In sex you lie about the one...

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours...

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?" The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl. "What's the...

I found this pretty funny. Anybody look at their Deer either sex permit yet lol. Look at the effective dates. Mine says " 8/31/11 - 2/29/12 " Now if deer season only runs from 9/24/11 - 2/5/12 Why the extra days on there lol.

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a...

My wife says to me the other night "How come we don't make love like they do in the movies?” So I bent her over the table, slapped her on each ass cheek a dozen times, grabbed her by the hair and yanked her neck back so she’d be forced to watch me jackhammer her from behind, then flipped...

. In his defense. He thought she was 13.. lmao http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/amish-sexter-buggy-sex-549028