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A few quick ones

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you
believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my
Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how
do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I think
she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not
listening. "
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
worst. So I had to go to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

I hope you injoyed :smiley_clap: