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A man goes into the hospital...

CJD3

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#1
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.
Before the procedure, a beautiful nurse comes into his room, takes his vitals, then tells him to take off all of his clothes.
When he is fully undressed, she instructs him to lie down on a table. The man obeys.
The nurse then removes all of her clothes, climbs on top, and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act, the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about.
The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy, if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever.
The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room.
While they are going down the hall, the patient sees six men in a room, all of whom are masturbating.
Curiosity prompts the man to ask, "What are they doing in there?"
The nurse responds, "They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and they have Obama Care."
 

CJD3

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NE Ohio
#2
Feeling a little off?

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."
Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck . . . .
 

CJD3

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
12,560
5,392
155
NE Ohio
#4
A small boy got lost at the local shopping mall...

He approached a uniformed security guard and said,
"I lost my Grandpa!"
The guard asked " whats his name?"

"Grandpa"

The guard smiled then asked, "whats he like?"

The Little fells hesitated for a moment, then replied



"Crown Royal whiskey and women with bit tits" lmao