A little Indian boy went to his dad one day and asked, "dad, how do we get our names?". The father looked at his son and replied, "the first thing we see when we walk out of our teepee after you're born gives us you're name. Why you ask Two Dogs Screwin'?"
A guy goes hunting ... a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over and discharged shooting himself in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the West Virginia Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."
Gandhi was quite loved by those around him. because of his beliefs, he walked everywhere. It was said the soles of his feet were as hard as the bottoms of any other mans shoes. His diet of only eating certain foods never allowed him to gain any weight so he always looked to skinny and frail. The other problem with his diet was it gave him horrible bad breath. Those around him secretly refereed to him as...
A super calloused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis. :smiley_crocodile:
A retired man went to the Job Center in Downtown Denver and saw
a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went
in and asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies
ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their
underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions,
then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in
soothing oils so they're readyfor the gynecologist's examination.
The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana."
"Good grief... is that where the job is?"
"No sir -- that's where the end of the line is right now."