Nothing about Nothing
- Thread starter Matt
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Two hunters are out on a farmer's property, walking around the edge of the woods when they come across a giant hole in the ground. They can't see to the bottom of it, but they want to know how deep it is. They try throwing rocks and sticks down it, but the rocks and sticks aren't big enough to be heard when they hit the bottom. Eventually, the hunters spot an old transmission lying in some tall weeds near. It looks like it hasn't been touched in decades, so they figure the farmer wouldn't miss it and shove it down the hole. While they're waiting to hear the transmission hit the bottom of the hole, a goat comes crashing through the weeds at about 100 mph and falls down the hole. The hunters are surprised, but not terribly concerned about the unfortunate goat. Besides, they came to hunt deer, not mess with goats. The hunters make their way to the tree stand and get set up. After about fifteen minutes, the farmer comes walking up to the stand. "Have you boys seen my goat?" asks the farmer. "Well," says the first hunter," We did see a goat earlier. He came runnin' about a hundred miles an hour through the weeds and fell into that giant hole over there." "A hundred miles an hour?" says the farmer. "That can't be my goat. He was chained to a transmission."
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A buddys girlfriend was at that show...he picked her out of the audience and used her in one of his jokes. Her name is Anna. He asks her if she likes bird jokes..she says yes....then he says “two guys were fucking an owl”, then pauses...everyone was laughing in the audience and she looked embarrassed. They don’t make comics like that anymore. I love watching the old Dean Martin roasts also....lots of legendary comics were on that show.
Exactly, you can watch these for days on end and it’ll keep you laughing your ass off the whole time....