I just found out I was a trophy husband. Those were not my wife's exact words. She did say something along the lines of me doing nothing, acting like a jerk, and some other shit I wasn't listening to. By the time she was done I realized she must only be married to me for my looks. By deductive reasoning, I believe that makes me a trophy husband. She seemed pretty passionate about telling me so as well because my ears are still ringing from the decibel level she delivered the message.
Is it deer season yet? I don't want to let her down.