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Putting your affairs in order.

Ohiosam

*Supporting Member*
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Mahoning Co.
#1
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad
news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't
well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There
were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who
were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her
friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed
with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences
and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told
your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father
after I'm gone.'