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Shooting the Bull

CJD3

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NE Ohio
#1
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.

Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.

They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."
 

CJD3

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
12,560
5,394
155
NE Ohio
#2
A hunter gets up early one morning and tells his wife he's going hunting and that she can either go hunting with him, let him fuck her in the ass, or give him a blow job.

He informs her that he's going out to get the dog, load up the hunting gear and will be back to get her decision.

About an hour later, he comes back into the house and asks his wife what she wants to do.

''Well,'' she says, ''I ain't going hunting with you, and you sure as hell ain't fucking me in the ass, so I guess it will be a blow job.''

She's down there giving him the job when all of a sudden she starts coughing and spitting and says, ''Your dick tastes like shit!''

He replies, "Well, the dog didn't want to go hunting either
 

CJD3

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Supporting Member
12,560
5,394
155
NE Ohio
#3
A man goes hunting on day and sees a big bear ..so he thinks to himself that would look great in my game room...so he picks up his little rifle///takes aim...and fires....loud bang,big cloud of smoke...."i got him" the hunter says..he runs over to get his prize...look down and no bear...just then he feels a tap on his sholder..he turns around and the bear says to him..."suck my dick or die" so the hunter does his thing to the bear and goes home pissed off....
the next day the hunter returns for pay back with an even bigger gun..." ill get him this time" he says....he spots the bear takes aim...fires...loud bang...big cloud of smoke...he runs over to where the bear is...nothing...the hunter feels a tap on his sholder turns around and the bear says "suck my dick or die" hunter does it and goes home really pissed now...
next day hunter brings a fucking rocket launcher...sees the bear and "boom!!!!" the hunter runs over to where is and still nothing...he feels another tap on his sholder and the bear says....."your not here for the hunting are you"
 

CJD3

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
12,560
5,394
155
NE Ohio
#4
One day the lone ranger and tonto are out riding in texas. they stop at a bar and start to have a drink. then a big guy comes in and says "who's white horse is outside?"
the lone ranger stands up and says " what abuot it ?" the man says "well your horse is about to faint" so the lone ranger told tonto "go run around silver and see if you can get some air movin" a couple minutes later anoither guy walks in and asks who's white horse it is outside. the lone ranger stands up and says "what's wrong with my horse?!!!" the guy says "nothins wrong with your horse you just left your injun runnin".