EPILOGUE
For reasons I cannot explain, I aways feel the need to conclude my season with a final word. Understand that I'm doing this for myself, for future reference as this is as close as I'll likely ever get to actually keeping a journal. Every season since I first got Lefty has been a learning experience for me. I've learned a lot about my dogs, squirrels, the places I hunt, my friends, and especially myself. This year was no different. This was without a doubt the least amount of squirrel hunting I have done in any season since Lefty's first. We wound up taking 52 squirrels this season, the least that I have brought home since I got a squirrel dog, although this isn't really about the body count. Mostly this was because of the weather, which was atrocious from start to finish with only a few really good weather days, but also because I'm only running one dog now who is showing his age just the same as I am. Still, having a dog that needs to go hunting is a damn good reason to force yourself out the door even when conditions are poor and you'd rather not. I did that a few times this year, more than ever since I got into this. There were just too many hunts that we did not go on, to suit me, which is disappointing.
My time in the field is sacred to me whether I'm carrying my simple bow and some arrows or with dog and rifle. For the entirety of my adult life, I have worked very hard to ensure that I could go hunting as much as could stand for an entire season. I have been most fortunate to have been able to literally hunt as much as could stand and stay in that sweet spot for all these years. I'm still doing that, but "as much as I can stand" is whole lot less today than it was just a few years ago. A couple of years ago, physical ailments began to affect my time in the field, now for the first time my desire may be, too. This is very difficult circumstance to reconcile if you are me, perhaps it is for everyone. I keep telling myself that finding and training a new pup will invigorate me. I keep telling myself that the perfect clever new bow will be the blast of oxygen needed re-ignite my smoldering passion for archery and deer hunting. Lies helping me to ease my own conscience about not living up to my own standards and expectations, which admittedly have likely always seemed unreasonable to others. The truth is, I need to recalibrate those standards and expectations and find a new sweet spot.
Usually, I'm a little bit happy that the season is over, having hunted hard, often and gotten my fill. That did not happen this year in the squirrel woods, and much to my chagrin, I cannot blame it all on the weather. We killed plenty enough squirrels for the freezer, but there is a part of my metaphorical game bag that did not get filled this season.