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The man test.

Ohiosam

*Supporting Member*
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Mahoning Co.
#1
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:


A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town


2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:


A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B. Your blood-test results
C. Five tequila slammers


3. You time your orgasm so that:


A. Your partner climaxes first
B. You both climax simultaneously
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center



4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:


A. Healthy, creative love-play
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.



5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:


A. The best part of the experience
B. The second best part of the experience
C. $100 extra



6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:


A. of no influence on your affection for her
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym
C. A conservative estimate


7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:


A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A moron



8. Foreplay is to sex as:


A. an appetizer is to an entree
B. primer is to paint.
C. a long line is to an amusement park ride



9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:


A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
B. Is uptight and a waste of time
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place



Evaluating Results:


If you answered "A" more than 7 times: Ask your wife for annual visitation rights to your balls.


If you answered "B" more than 7 times: Check into therapy - you're more than just a little confused.


If you answered "C" more than 7 times: YOU DA MAN!