1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B. Your blood-test results
C. Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first
B. You both climax simultaneously
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience
B. The second best part of the experience
C. $100 extra
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. of no influence on your affection for her
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym
C. A conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. an appetizer is to an entree
B. primer is to paint.
C. a long line is to an amusement park ride
9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
B. Is uptight and a waste of time
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
Evaluating Results:
If you answered "A" more than 7 times: Ask your wife for annual visitation rights to your balls.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times: Check into therapy - you're more than just a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times: YOU DA MAN!
A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B. Your blood-test results
C. Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first
B. You both climax simultaneously
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience
B. The second best part of the experience
C. $100 extra
6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. of no influence on your affection for her
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym
C. A conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. an appetizer is to an entree
B. primer is to paint.
C. a long line is to an amusement park ride
9. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
B. Is uptight and a waste of time
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
Evaluating Results:
If you answered "A" more than 7 times: Ask your wife for annual visitation rights to your balls.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times: Check into therapy - you're more than just a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times: YOU DA MAN!
