Not me...but a friend of mine. (REALLY)! He tells me he went to their annual Christmas party that was held at the bar in a hotel. He picks up a new girl that just started working there a few weeks before the party. They get drunk, get a room...he is hitting it “in a forbidden place” when she starts yelling for him to pull it out. Just when he does....KABOOM. Shit all over the room. They showered and he said she was so embarrassed that she wouldn’t let him finish.
My daughter is a good girl. Genuinely great kid. Must be a recessive gene she inherited. We hiked 35miles in the Rockies last week. You KNOW with those miles at some point. . .someone. . .is going to pee on the trail. Not an issue for the boys and I. My wife must have times her business well as she side stepped any trail side toilet time. My daughter had to pee. We posted the boys on both ends of the trail to check for oncoming hikers. Amazing how many we passed miles away from anything. The park was busy. First stop. . . "I couldn't do it. It was too open. Someone could see me." As a nurturing and supportive father I offered comforting words like "Isn't my bladder. Isn't my problem. Let me know when you can't hold it anymore." So we hiked on. Get to a stretch with good visibility up and down the trail a good way. I point out a nice Boulder off the trail. I ration one Kleenex out in case someone has to drop a (triple) deuce later. She comes back pinching the tissue. We laugh. My wife says "Go stick it under a rock. It will decompose. It isn't a plastic bottle." She (again being such a thoughtful and good natured kid) says "I just can't do it. That is littering." I'm shaking my head and scheming up some problem solving on the fly. Our solution was to stuff it in an empty water bottle and screw the cap back on. Oh. . .my. . .gosh! I'm not complaining. She is such a good kid. Just SO glad she didn't have to crap!
A friend of mine did exactly that...he dropped his bib overalls and took a dump. He didn’t realize that he shit on his overalls and pulled them up. When he got back to the truck, another friend saw it all over his back and shoulders.