No tenderloins for you, Dave!
Yup, my fuggen wife just stopped me and told me she wanted it for her Mothers Day dinner. The really fucked up part is that she will be at my parents house in Elmore while I'll be at work here! I goes I'll share some more stories while she makes me a damn sammich.
I also want to share that I'm very thankful that I manage 6 hunters on a very solid property for wildlife. I am in charge of 210 acres of prime land. The organization sets us a deer kill quota every year and it's up to us to kill said amount of deer. This year it was 12-15 deer they wanted killed. We killed 13 total. 3 mature bucks, a few buttons and some nice doe. We have an "earn a buck" program set up for all the hunters also so we are sure to get our numbers. This property is one of those that too many deer is hurting the big picture for natural plants of Ohio….
We can't hunt using any bait, cutting any limbs, or anything that really alters anything. We also have to deal with tree hugging hikers through all of bow season, they close the trails during the gun seasons. Which is nice.
Anyways… I took more shots this year than I have since I was a kid. Turns out I had a bad scope on my shotgun…it also turns out that when shooting a crossbow, you need to make sure your limbs have clearance… I'm lucky I didn't hurt the bow and just missed the deer by 5'! Even though it was only 10 yards away, lol. I also lost a nice doe due to high water in a normally shallow creek.
That story goes something like this.
There I was, sitting in the tree pissed off because I had missed yet another deer that morning with the shotgun. So I had gone back home to get the ML and returned back in the same stand. I had this lone doe working the cedar thicket below me for hours… She never gave me a clear shot so I didn't take one for the longest time. It was fun to watch her mill around and she even bedded down a couple of times. About a half hour before dark she jumped up and ran right at me! I froze in hopes that she would stop. She did, and she was staring right at me.
We did the deer stare off for a while, you know the one…she stomps and jukes her head around like some hood rat chick. She did the fake, I'm gonna take a bit of food bullshit a couple of times too. She finally settled down and started looking behind her. My brain instantly went to looking for a buck! Heart pounding out of my chest and all. I thought for sure she was going to hear it as she was only 20 yards away.
While I was searching the woods looking for this buck she did a full 180 and all I had was a Texas heart shot. I wasn't going to take that shot but I was angry and thought about trying to blow her head OFF! But no way could I stomach another miss so I waited… Clenching my teeth hard enough that my law muscles started to hurt. I was pissed and this bitch was gonna die!
What felt like five hours later she had her head down and I was able to get the gun up 3/4 of the way. She seen or heard me and spun back around. At this point I was in full "fuck this deer" mode and I shouldered the gun. She did what most deer do and she took one bounce and stood broadside looking at me. I put it on her heart and let the smoke pole sing.
Smoke clears and she's plowing! I jump up and scream "thats what you get bitch!". She plows her way to the edge of the hill using only her back legs and I wait for her to expire. I get down 10 minutes later to go gather her up. I walk over to the spot I last seen her and she wasn't there… Mother fogger am I really pissed off now. I look over the ledge and we see each other at the same time… She starts plowing again! Son of a bitch!!! I never reloaded the gun!!!!!! So down this rock face I go to catch her before she hits the creek. I felt like Buzz Lightyear falling down this cliff side "with class".
I got to about 10' of her before she splashed into the creek. No way was I going to get into this raging creek, at the same time, no way I was going to let her get away. So I gave chase down the creek bank. I felt like someone trying to get out of Spidermans web…that shit was THICK! All I kept seeing was white belly, brown, white belly, brown tumbling down this creek. It turns out that the creek was in better shape than I am and she got away from me as I had to stop for air.
It got dark on me and I felt like I wasn't going to find her, so I went back and found all the shit I left in while chasing her. At this point I was mentally and physically destroyed. I was limping hard and bleeding from every limb. I didn't even want to go home, I knew my wife would ask and no way could I tell anyone that this happened. But I put on my big boy panties and went home. I walked in the front door and she took one look at me and said "no means no Babe"…as funny as that would normally be, she said I looked like I wanted to cry. She gave me a hug and never asked what happened… (damn, I love that woman, even if I don't get my tenderloin tonight)
The rest of the night turned into a night of me drinking beer in my garage with the lights off kind of night. I got up the next morning, grabbed my cane and went back looking for her. I never did find her. All I can figure is that her being that close, I shot just low enough to miss the heart and break both front legs.