What to do with No. 1 and No. 2?!?

[formerbowhunter1023]

This discussion is always entertaining! :smiley_adfundum:

I bought myself a nice piss bottle this year. I get tired of the plastic bottles and all the noise they make and since I have the bladder of a 5-year on a road trip, I need to have something with me if I plan to sit more than a few hours. I bought a stainless steel bottle with a d-clip to hook on my pack. I bet it smells great by the end of the season!!! I used to piss straight out of the stand, but I've had second thoughts about that the past two seasons after seeing a couple of deer get skidish around the base of my tree. Could be they didn't like eating piss flavored acorns! LMAO!!!

As for pinching a grumpy, I try to drop one in a creek if at all possible. Then I try not to fall in like I did that one time...

 

[deerburger]

I've already had my first experience with this since the Florida bow opener was last Saturday. I don't want to ruin the ending, but was a bad experience.

1hornwilly and I drove to the farm at 4 am and stopped at 7-11 on the way there. I bought 4 hard boiled eggs and ate them all in the car. By about 6:30 am in the stand, my stomach hurt so bad that I was hoping a deer would shoot me. When I couldn't take it anymore, I had to climb down and hobble about 15 yards away to a tree and take the worst, muddiest, most disgusting dump ever. Then I cut up my socks with my hunting knife to use them as toilet paper.

I finished out the morning with no socks, but I felt awesome after that. Saw a button and a doe. I'm not going to eat 7-11 hard boiled eggs before I hunt anymore.

 

[DJK Frank 16]

I've already had my first experience with this since the Florida bow opener was last Saturday. I don't want to ruin the ending, but was a bad experience.

1hornwilly and I drove to the farm at 4 am and stopped at 7-11 on the way there. I bought 4 hard boiled eggs and ate them all in the car. By about 6:30 am in the stand, my stomach hurt so bad that I was hoping a deer would shoot me. When I couldn't take it anymore, I had to climb down and hobble about 15 yards away to a tree and take the worst, muddiest, most disgusting dump ever. Then I cut up my socks with my hunting knife to use them as toilet paper.

I finished out the morning with no socks, but I felt awesome after that. Saw a button and a doe. I'm not going to eat 7-11 hard boiled eggs before I hunt anymore.

Note to self.... absolutely NO hardboiled eggs before hunt!

 

[formerbowhunter1023]

I've already had my first experience with this since the Florida bow opener was last Saturday. I don't want to ruin the ending, but was a bad experience.

1hornwilly and I drove to the farm at 4 am and stopped at 7-11 on the way there. I bought 4 hard boiled eggs and ate them all in the car. By about 6:30 am in the stand, my stomach hurt so bad that I was hoping a deer would shoot me. When I couldn't take it anymore, I had to climb down and hobble about 15 yards away to a tree and take the worst, muddiest, most disgusting dump ever. Then I cut up my socks with my hunting knife to use them as toilet paper.

I finished out the morning with no socks, but I felt awesome after that. Saw a button and a doe. I'm not going to eat 7-11 hard boiled eggs before I hunt anymore.

HAHAHA! I feel your pain buddy! I suffer from IBS, so I have to be very careful what I eat before and during hunts!

 

[Gern186]

If it happens to me, I just get as far away from the stand as possible......if you have to shit you have to shit. I would rather get my pants down and take one than risking shitting my pants and having that smell engrained into my hunting outfit for the season!

Not sure that would be too good of a cover scent.......


I figure deer smell urine in the woods all the time, so it's not really that crucial. If you keep pissing off your stand though they might figure something out or at least be overly cautious around that area.

 

[OhioWhiteTails]

I try to hold them both in if i can manage. However, drinking a pot of coffee before hand makes this no easy task. If i have to go that bad, i piss right off the stand. If a killer mud hits me, i duck walk the hell out of the area......

 

[Buckmaster]

#1, I create the golden shower. It sometimes smells like Folgers or Maxwell House.
#2, I do that before I head out. If in an emergency I head to a creek or puddle.

 

[swantucky]

depends!!!

 

[DJK Frank 16]

depends!!!

You keep those in your hunting pack or put them on in the morning??

 

[formerbowhunter1023]

depends!!!

On what?

 

[swantucky]

You keep those in your hunting pack or put them on in the morning??

I usually just wear the ones from drinking the night before if they are not too full.

 

[OhioWhiteTails]

I usually just wear the ones from drinking the night before if they are not too full.

LMAO your terrible.....

 

[DJK Frank 16]

I usually just wear the ones from drinking the night before if they are not too full.

HAHAHA! Too many beers the night before could be the reason that the shit monster attacks you while hunting in the first place!!

 

[rrr]

What Jesse said- watch what you eat before you go out. Do NOT eat Chinese the night before, especially if it's the dead of winter and about 10 degrees.

As for taking a leak in the woods, normally not off the stand but in I do it in transition and don't worry about it. Fact: deer do tend to appear when you've got your fly down.

 

[jagermeister]

Hell, just buy a bottle with a giant fuggin opening... then you can do either #1 or #2 right from your stand. :smiley_bril:

Is there anyone else here that, no matter what time you wake up or what you eat, right before you head to your stand you have to take a shit? I don't know if it's nerves or what, but I can try my best to drop a deuce at the cabin with absolutely no success... and as soon as I step out of the truck, the shit monster sneaks up and taps on my shoulder. What's up with that?

 

[Hoytmania]

Big slam bottle for #1. I usually get a new for each season.

#2 To fix that problem when I go hunting in the morning I am up at 3:30 brew me a pot o coffee and watch some hunting videos while I sip down a pot of coffee. That warm drink usually gets the bowels movin pretty good. If I feel like it is not all gone by the time I have to leave I get in the cabinet and grab me an imodium and that takes care of the rest of the day. Don't really ever have to dump in the woods.

 

[Beentown]

Squat off the stand. Plop...plop...ahhh! J/K I wake up extra early and try to take care of business. I am usually by water so if all else has failed....I loose another match to my socks.

Beentown

 

[Curran]

Holy shit that's a funny read..... Hard Boiled Eggs from 7-11? I've got to question your judgment on that one!!! Too funny:smiley_crocodile:


#1 - I usually let 'em loose off the stand if I have to go in the tree. If I'm on the ground and a scrape is near I'll go there, or anywhere for that matter.

#2 - I always try to "force the issue" before leaving the house, either morning or afternoon. Sometimes it works, sometimes it don't. If I'm in the woods, I'll try to find a creek or water of some sort to drop the kids off at.


A few years back, opening day of shotgun, the gang all went in to town for some greasy food and beverages. I didn't go crazy, but I did have enough beers that I shouldn't operate heavy machinery. Along with those beers, I had a pile of wings and was dipping 'em in blue cheese dressing like usual. Well, about 3:00am something woke me up. Out the door I ran, and chucked up the wings. Brushed the teeth, crank some water and back to bed for a few more hours.

Alarm clock sounded, and all is well. We get dressed, grab our back packs, guns, and head out to hunt. No issues with the stomach..... until I climbed to the top of the mountain where I hung my stand.... Burp. Oh man, that's not good. I hold it down, take some deep breaths and gain composure. A couple minutes later my climber is making it's way up the tree.

Alright, I made it. Sun should be coming up soon, and looks like it's gonna be a good day after all. Burp... oh man, deep breaths.... deep breaths..... on shit, over the side of the climber I'm chuckin' everything that's left along with the cereal bar I just had for breakfast. Not good... here it comes again.... oh shit, no seriously.... oh shit!!! somethings workin' on the opposite end!!!

Lower the gun as quick as I can, unhook the safety vest all together, and I think I more or less made it down the tree in a second. There was no time for properly climbing down. The mudslide was coming one way or another.... I hit the ground running, and stripping clothes down as quick as it could be done, simultaneously dropping my draws and spraying the woods like machine gun. Of course as this is going on my stomach decides that it has more for me too, and I'm puking and crapping all over the place....

Needless to say, no deer were harmed that morning near my stand. It literally took me the better part of the morning to crawl down the hill so I could meet back up with the others before lunch. Nothing like a good bout of food poisoning to get things moving!!

 

[1hornwilly]

The same morning of the 7-11 eggs with deerburger, I was smart and bought a doughnut. For whatever reason it was enough to cause me some issues in the stand. I didn't feel like getting down so I just hung ass off the side and threw down the brown pound. 7 hours later I killed my buck. Deer don't mind poo. No further evidence needed. I just had to be careful getting down to track him...:smiley_chuck:

 

[hickslawns]

Poop stories never fail to make people laugh. I am going into stand-up comedy and I am telling nothing but poop stories. Okay guys, I am changing careers. See you in the woods. Bring your TP.