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Fathers and daughters

hickslawns

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#1
Okay, my daughter will be 9 in a couple weeks. Still a sweet, innocent little girl. She likes to dress nice, and thinks boys are gross still. Perfect age I suppose. She will ride motorcycles with her brother and I, and enjoys going shed hunting with me. She fishes, and she does "fashion designer" websites for kids on the internet. She is pretty well rounded. Softball, girl scouts, and dance. However, I do see her getting older, and more mature. Half the time I think she is more responsible than I am. Maybe over half. She is very intelligent and just "Daddy's little Princess".

When does this end? I am scared to think what I am going to be like when she starts talking on the phone for hours with her friends. God forbid she starts talking to boys. Just curious from you more experienced fathers out there.

I can tell you this, it has changed my outlook on young girls a lot. I used to check them out (not 9 yr olds, but the late teen/early 20's girls). Now I look at them and think "I will not let my daughter wear something like that out when she is that age. I wonder what that girl's mom looks like?" haha

I suppose I am maturing or getting old or something. It just doesn't seem right to look at anything under 25-30 anymore. Does this mean I am getting old, or does it mean my daughter is growing up forcing the change of attitude? Just curious.
 
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RedCloud

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#2
Oh buddy..you haven't even gotten to the fun stuff yet lol. I have one that is a senior in high school this year and another that is 14 and although they are worlds apart in their personalities, they both carry the mouth and attitude of a teen girl lol. They both dropped me off the cool list around the age of 12 and spend pretty much all their home time on the computer or the phone or running with their friends. Let me also say the older they get the more expensive they become. Wait till you have to shell out money for dresses, shoes, purses, jewelry, make-up, hair, nails and all that for dances such as Homecoming (Fall & another in Winter) Prom/s. I figure the senior will cost us around $1500 this year for all the things listed plus senior pictures and that's before the invitations and party stuff for graduation itself :(.
 

CJD3

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#3
I'll have to get back to you when I have a little more time for this one.
(but i will get in my 2 cents worth)
 

Ohiosam

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#4
I've been lucky that my daughter is a "daddy's girl" so we share some of the same interests. However she still did a healthy amount of girlie things.

As far as looking at younger girls, I'm not blind but they aren't really my cup of tea. For a long time when someone would point out a cute younger girl I'd think "not bad, wonder what mom looks like?"
 
#5
I have one girl that is three and ask me all the time. "Daddy can I go hunting with you"...every deer she sees is a big buck. She loves the outdoors,snacks,and playing. Just like her dad. But she sounds like hicks daughter only three and all bout fashion and a spitting image of her mom. Plus Igot another daughter on the way in february! But I feel the same way hicks does I look at younger girls and think no way in he'll my girls will look or act like that. I also got experience with girls being that I had five sisters growing up and no brothers plus two sister-in-laws now,looks like I am destined to have all girls so all the advice is welcomed!
 

formerbowhunter1023

Now Posts as Jesse..
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SE Ohio
#6
I don't have kids and I'm only 28. But I will say this, I am scared to think of what kind of world I will be raising a young woman/man in! I see some of these girls running around now at the high school football games and know damn well that girls didn't look like that when I was a kid. A good buddy of mine has a sister-in-law that was partying with us in Athens when I was a senior at OU. I thought she was a freshman. She was, in high school. The girl could have got into any bar in Athens. Shoot, my sister-in-law has the rack most grown women would love to have and she just turned 15. There is something to the whole hormones in food conspiracy. Little girls don't stay little girls that long these days...
 

Jackalope

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#7
I don't have kids and I'm only 28. But I will say this, I am scared to think of what kind of world I will be raising a young woman/man in! I see some of these girls running around now at the high school football games and know damn well that girls didn't look like that when I was a kid. A good buddy of mine has a sister-in-law that was partying with us in Athens when I was a senior at OU. I thought she was a freshman. She was, in high school. The girl could have got into any bar in Athens. Shoot, my sister-in-law has the rack most grown women would love to have and she just turned 15. There is something to the whole hormones in food conspiracy. Little girls don't stay little girls that long these days...

It's not a conspiracy. Why is it a conspiracy? Because the mighty FDA has said there is no proof? You mean the same FDA who says vitamins have zero health benefit.. And vitamin C is not approved to treat, cure, or prevent any illness... Those Looneys? Just ask almost any doctor why our young women are reaching maturity quicker, and are more developed than ever before. Most of them will tell you it's due to growth hormones in meat products. While it's true that fat is the number one contributing factor besides genetics that goes into the development of a woman's breasts. Hence the reason gymnasts are as flat as a board. They don't have any fat through puberty. But that only explains why they are "larger" in today's times vs years ago as kids are fatter. It does not explain why they develop earlier, faster, and more pronounced.
 

formerbowhunter1023

Now Posts as Jesse..
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SE Ohio
#8
All I know, is girls when I was a freshman in high school did not have the boobs that most of the girls in my sister-in-laws age group have these days. Tracie sports a solid 36D and her sister passed her up by 14.5 and that's insane. It was a rarity for a girl to have boobs that big a decade ago and now it seems its common place. I used the word "conspiracy" almost tongue in cheek. I totally buy into it for the reason I just stated. Times have changes and it has certainly changed the development, both physically and mentally, of our young women. Look what Facebook and MySpace have done for the maturity levels...
 

Thunderflight

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Shermans Dale, PA
#9
My daughter is 11 and will be 12 at the end of January. Over the last year she's changed a lot and while she still is "Daddy's Girl" she's also becoming her own person. It bugs me, but at the same time I'm happy. It's weird. I'm dreading the day a boy calls, she gets her drivers license, starts dating, gets her first real job, and so on.
 

rgecko23

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Massillon, Ohio
#10
I am completely scared shitless to knowbwhatbthe world is going to be for my daughter. Heck i get scared just thinking about her driving...she's only 3. I just hope that ican raise her right with a good a good home, good morals, and good values. Take her to church, and hope that she grows up to be a fine young woman. I don't expect an angel, bit close to that would be nice. As for my son, well he is he'll on wheels right now, and if he is anything like his dad, that will never change hahahahaha
 

Curran

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#11
The wife and I were just talking about this last night... our daughter is only 3, so we're a ways off from any of the teen age drama. I'm not looking forward to it... at all. She's definitely "daddy's little girl" right now, but eventually that will fade away, and like RedCloud mentioned, I'll be dropped off of the cool list.

I do know one thing. I plan on using what ever technique is necessary to make sure the boys she brings over keep in line. I am not at all opposed to intimidation tactics, and trying to scare the living shit out of any of them. My wife was jokin' around in describing me, sitting in the dark room cleaning guns and sharpening knives when it's date night for our little girl. She doesn't realize how accurate she was.... :smiley_bril:
 

formerbowhunter1023

Now Posts as Jesse..
0
2
0
SE Ohio
#12
I do know one thing. I plan on using what ever technique is necessary to make sure the boys she brings over keep in line. I am not at all opposed to intimidation tactics, and trying to scare the living shit out of any of them. My wife was jokin' around in describing me, sitting in the dark room cleaning guns and sharpening knives when it's date night for our little girl. She doesn't realize how accurate she was.... :smiley_bril:
Be careful with that! :D

I dated a girl in high school and the first time I came over, her dad just happened to have his guns out cleaning them. I spent almost the entire night in the garage with him talking hunting and cleaning guns. Eventually, I shot and fell in love with my first Mathews with him and I spent more time shooting bows with him and her uncle when I went over, than I did with her. I even dated her longer than I wanted to because I got along with her dad so well. I think he took us breaking up harder than she did given she dumped me! LOL! I still have some of the first custom arrows I ever had. He hand dipped and crested some 2117's for me when I got my first bow. So sometimes a gun cleaning intimidation can lead to making a new friend!!! :D
 

CJD3

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#13
Okay, my daughter will be 9 in a couple weeks. Still a sweet, innocent little girl. She likes to dress nice, and thinks boys are gross still. Perfect age I suppose. She will ride motorcycles with her brother and I, and enjoys going shed hunting with me. She fishes, and she does "fashion designer" websites for kids on the internet. She is pretty well rounded. Softball, girl scouts, and dance. However, I do see her getting older, and more mature. Half the time I think she is more responsible than I am. Maybe over half. She is very intelligent and just "Daddy's little Princess".

When does this end? I am scared to think what I am going to be like when she starts talking on the phone for hours with her friends. God forbid she starts talking to boys. Just curious from you more experienced fathers out there.

I can tell you this, it has changed my outlook on young girls a lot. I used to check them out (not 9 yr olds, but the late teen/early 20's girls). Now I look at them and think "I will not let my daughter wear something like that out when she is that age. I wonder what that girl's mom looks like?" haha

I suppose I am maturing or getting old or something. It just doesn't seem right to look at anything under 25-30 anymore. Does this mean I am getting old, or does it mean my daughter is growing up forcing the change of attitude? Just curious.
Ho boy... get a cup of coffee.I will speak of my personal dealings on the subject.

At some point in the early to mid teens something happened that caused my wife and I to question if we were even fit parents. We have been married 25 years and dated 5 years before that. Both girls had an extended family environment,(grandparents and uncle next door) church, after school activities. Our 2 daughters are 3 years apart. Not exactly a Norman Rockwell picture but a typical upbringing. The older one did end up a Daddy's girl. She grew up seeing me shoot,hunt and fish. Summer time archery, fall and winter hunting rituals. Although I never "pushed" shooting bows and guns on her, she asked to try it and frankly showed a aptitude for both. The younger daughter was more into (for lack of a better term) "girly" things such as ballet but did pursue fishing and eventually was outfitted with her own gear.

Anyway. At some point they start to grow into their own person. In an desperate attempt to figure this out they flounder around with this concept of "Independence" Their body's and minds appear kinda sorta ready for the concept but really its never at a time that we as parents are ready for...

We felt it was a number of things. Schools, my space, TV,MTV, questionable friends, pier pressure and rebellion as they push harder for Independence, we pushed back with rules and discipline as we desperately tried to hold on a little longer to our "sweet little girl" We were told we "didn't understand. things are different now. we are to old and haven't kept up with the times." I hate you. I can do anything I want..." Defiance.

("... what we have here is a failure to communicate...")

The harder they pushed, the harder we pushed. Syndi and I started wondering where we went wrong. Maybe we were being to strict. Maybe we were bad parents after all...

Then I started looking to people that were 5-10 years ahead of me in the process.
We found that nearly all of them went through a point at this age with the kids. Some were really really bad and for some it was mild. They all assured me that after a few years... YEARS, it would all settle down. The kid would start to show signs of the values you had thought lost. Even show love to you as a parent again.
My oldest is now coming out of this stage and the younger is ramping up. I'm better prepared. Maybe it won't be as bad... The younger one sat back and learned from the older ones mistakes. Even asked for her room when I threated to throw the older one out. lol. seems a little funny now but at the time... Wow

One last note: Watch you wife. Mine shifted from "mother role" to "friend role" as she struggled with the period in question. In doing so it caused me to be even more of a bad guy. You as the "man of the house" will try to enforce the rules you have raised the kids by and the wife will typically disregard rules in an attempt to keep her relationship with this teen. This will only cause you to question your self further.
I guess the severity of the situation varies from kid to kid. Family to family. You just do the best you can and instill all the values you feel are important as long as you can. Once this period starts, you must trust that you have done everything possible to raise em right and sit back and wait. Keep the porch light on for em. regardless of how bad it got, I always let em know their mother and I loved them.
I would not trade the experience of raising kids for anything in the world. From being there at the birth to today... I wouldn't do it again, but I'd never trade it.

When they were little we also would say the ol "mine wont dress like that or she would never be aloud to do that." Mostly that has worked out but at some point you just won't have a say in it anymore. I still have rules because they still live under my roof but they are different than before.

Lastly is the cruel trick of being a man... I love to look at a hot looken girl as much as the next man. BUT... Every playboy, one night stand thought I ever had and did when I was younger and playen the field comes back to haunt me every time some young son-of-a-bitch comes over to take out "my baby girl" So far most have been good kids. My daughters have the right values... but I know what the little bastards are looken for. I was there. Don't even try to tell me otherwise. I require the boy to be introduced to me. I want to lay eyes on him. Let him know. Give him a crushing hand shake and ask when he will be bringing her back home... I always inform the kid "he is responsible for her well being" A final eye fucking and a look at what he's driving and he knows...

Sorry for the ramble. I may seem a little whacked on the matter BUT if you start asking a number of people that have already been there, I believe you'll see I'm in the ball park.
 

Jackalope

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#14
Great post CJ.. I don't have kids but I have seen that exact thing play out not only in my own family but others as well.. And it's also just 1 of 1,000 reasons why i will never have them.
 

Jackalope

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#17
to each his own bro, and I totally respect your decision...but you'll be missing out on the greatest thing in the world.
That's what they all say...


After they've had them...


At that point though, what choice do you have. LOL

Nothing gained is nothing lost.

Just sayin.. :)

I may go adopt me some little black kid someday though... Around age 2 would be good.. Raise him up like a hick.. I can see it now. Ole dude jumps out the truck in Vinton County to the stares of the locals.... And says "Lets go kill some deerz dad." I'm gonna git in that stand up the holler.. Where ya goin?"


.
 

CJD3

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#18
. My wife was jokin' around in describing me, sitting in the dark room cleaning guns and sharpening knives when it's date night for our little girl. She doesn't realize how accurate she was.... :smiley_bril:
Been There
Done That
Bought the T shirt
 

hickslawns

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#19
Excellent post CJD. I think what you posted is going to help a lot of guys on here from the sounds of it.

Values. Good one. I figure if I teach my kids one thing only, then honesty will be that one thing. I really believe if they learn honesty, the rest will fall in line. Obviously this will not be the only thing I try to teach them, but I think it is the core. Take them to church, and know we are leading by example. Good or bad example, this is what they are learning. Helps keep me in check too. Great advice, and from the way my Dad interacts with the kids, I think you will enjoy being a grandpa some day.
 
#20
Like I said my daughter is three, Last night she and her mom were laying in bed and I tried to crawl in with them and she said "no daddy" and looked at her mom and said "can you tell him to go clean the house." ......I said "fine I am taking my snacks down stairs and watching tv" lol....then she was like "whatcha got daddy" ...I said "too late I need to go clean."