Thanks guys. It was a rough day.. One that's undoubtedly changed my life on how I look at things. It's been harder on Jim than me, It's really stuck with him. Even 4 years later It's rare for him to tell someone the story and not have his voice crack and get choked up. We had a different experience that day, a different experience with a common goal. From my perspective, it was a fight like I hope to never have to fight again. One where every fiber in your body says quit, where you mind relentlessly tells you that "this is it", the crystal clear knowledge of how you're going to leave this world and soon, and the animalistic fight for life through sheer determination and refusal to let it happen. It's not often a man comes face to face with a clear knowledge of his own death. For Jim it was the realization that his future son in law was likely going to drown before his eyes despite his best effort, the pain of having to tell his daughter, the living with it for the remainder of his days. Both of these traumas manifest themselves differently in the heart of a man. I have no basis to comprehend what he went through that day, likewise, he has no way to comprehend what I went through. While to goal was the same, to save a life, it has left its mark on us both differently as we both went through something different that day. Life is precious and fragile, and mother nature doesn't give two fucks.
BTW. That gun is still at the bottom of that lake. My wonderful wife bought me the exact same one for Christmas that next winter.