My dog at an entire bag of Scrabble word tiles. 
So, I took her to the Vet.
No word, yet.
So, I took her to the Vet.
No word, yet.
Vet Bill
- Thread starter Bowhunter57
- Start date
Did you see the guy in the next room with a little plastic horse stuck up his ass?
They said he was in stable condition.
They said he was in stable condition.
Ohiosam
*Supporting Member*
What do you call a vet that can only work on one kind of animal?
A doctor.
A doctor.
Ohiosam
*Supporting Member*
And another,,,
Two dogs, a Doberman and a German Shepherd, are in the vet’s waiting room, and the German Shepherd says to the other, “What are you in for?”
“Oh,” says the Doberman. “I went for the postman. He said I ought to be put down, but my owner pleaded with him until he said that if she got me castrated instead then he wouldn’t take it any further. So that’s what I’m in for. How about you?”
“Oh,” says the German Shepherd, “my owner was cleaning the kitchen floor in her bathrobe, and while she was reaching for something under the fridge, her bathrobe fell off, and she looked and smelled so good that I mounted her then and there.”
“Oh,” says the Doberman. “So you’re in to be castrated as well?”
“No,” says the German Shepherd. “Just to get my claws clipped.”
Two dogs, a Doberman and a German Shepherd, are in the vet’s waiting room, and the German Shepherd says to the other, “What are you in for?”
“Oh,” says the Doberman. “I went for the postman. He said I ought to be put down, but my owner pleaded with him until he said that if she got me castrated instead then he wouldn’t take it any further. So that’s what I’m in for. How about you?”
“Oh,” says the German Shepherd, “my owner was cleaning the kitchen floor in her bathrobe, and while she was reaching for something under the fridge, her bathrobe fell off, and she looked and smelled so good that I mounted her then and there.”
“Oh,” says the Doberman. “So you’re in to be castrated as well?”
“No,” says the German Shepherd. “Just to get my claws clipped.”
Two veterinarians are walking through the woods. The first vet states that he is the best vet in the world, and the second vet disagrees. The argument goes on for about 5 minutes when they stop at an old oak tree with an owl sitting on a branch.
The first vet says, "To prove it, I bet I can perform a tonsillectomy on that owl without waking it up." The second doctor takes on his bet, thinking he is full of it, but astonishingly, the first vet performs a flawless surgery without the owl waking up.
Obviously the second vet needs to show him up and he exclaims, "I bet I can neuter it without it waking up!" The first vet insists that it is impossible, but the second vet gives it hell anyway. Against all odds, the second vet performs the surgery just as well as the first vet. They settle their feud and both agree that they are the best veterinarians in the world.
A few days later two owls are flying over the same old oak tree and the first owl says, "Hey that looks like a great place to land for the night, whaddya think?"
The second owl says, "Hell no! Last time I landed there I woke up and I couldn't hoot worth a fuck, or fuck worth a hoot!"
The first vet says, "To prove it, I bet I can perform a tonsillectomy on that owl without waking it up." The second doctor takes on his bet, thinking he is full of it, but astonishingly, the first vet performs a flawless surgery without the owl waking up.
Obviously the second vet needs to show him up and he exclaims, "I bet I can neuter it without it waking up!" The first vet insists that it is impossible, but the second vet gives it hell anyway. Against all odds, the second vet performs the surgery just as well as the first vet. They settle their feud and both agree that they are the best veterinarians in the world.
A few days later two owls are flying over the same old oak tree and the first owl says, "Hey that looks like a great place to land for the night, whaddya think?"
The second owl says, "Hell no! Last time I landed there I woke up and I couldn't hoot worth a fuck, or fuck worth a hoot!"
My Wife found out that our Dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the Veterinarian.......
The Vet found that the problem was Hair in the Dog's Ears.He cleaned both ears, and the Dog could then hear fine.
The Vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Veet" hair remover and rub it in the Dog's Ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Veet" hair remover.
At the register, the Pharmacist told her,
"If you're going to use this under your Arms, don't use Deodorant for a few days."
*Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The Pharmacist said,
"If you're using it on your Legs, don't use Body Lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my Legs either".
If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The Pharmacist said,
"Well, stay off your Bicycle for at least a Week".