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Southern Cops are Great.....


Bass Whisperer
Supporting Member
North Carolina
These are actual comments made by

Southern Troopers that were taken off

their car videos:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any

redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.

They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make

your birth certificate a worthless

document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

Because that's the speed of the

bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going?

I guess that means I can write anything

I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,

but I don't think it will help.

Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm

warning you not to do that

again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine

whether you are drunk or not.

Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is

a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy

and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets

and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."

( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,

but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal

friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

You're right, we don't. Sign here."