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TIL (Today I Learned)

don't go to a bar by yourself and leave to go downtown with someone else(you just met)when your phone is completely dead. There's a story here lol
 
I'll post the story tonight, it's a knee slapper alright. And looking back on it I think I need to give up boozing for lent.
 
TIL that I don't know crap about computers. We'll be opting to print via USB vs the annoying and worthless wireless route that most of you go. Who needs wireless when I have all these damn wires to tangle up!
 
Haha alright here it is

So.... I went to average joes(a bar like 2 min from my apt) by myself for dinner and some drinks while i watched hockey, and unfortunately my phone died. Well just as I was wrapping my night up some girl sat down and started talking to me and asked me if I wanted to come out and talk while she smoked and I said yeah. Well our conversation led to her asking me to go to a bar downtown and I said sure.

Still didn't know her name while she drove me downtown, i remember saying i was 26 and she's like oh im 25, she said it way too fast so i knew she was lying. Anywho I meet her friends a buncha vodka soda drinking hipsters... and they talked about how they graduated college in '05, so i whipped up some mathematical skills and was like damn she's 32! So here I am stuck downtown with this girl who's my only ride home...

I'm going to be honest she wasn't impressive or anything, like a 4, so instinctively i boozed harder(knob creek and budweiser) to morph her to a 7ish well.... ended up boozing too much...

Next thing I remember we were sitting at a table me her and her two friends and I'm not gonna lie it's unclear how this went down but at some point I just stood up(don't know if I said bye or cya or anything) paid my tab, walked out of the bar. I remember snow hitting my face(cuz it was snowing) then I woke up on the floor of my office under my desk at 4:30am, a mile away. Musta went there cuZ my phone died and that's the only place I could charge it to get a cab. I stood up, got my bearing on where I was, yacked in the bathroom and road home via uber. Still have no idea who the chic is lol Apparently I got in the office at 145 and slept three hours...

So saturday night I learned: if you're at a bar and about to go home, just go home. Less she's an 8 or greater.
 
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No BJ? No handy in the bathroom? No nothing? Come on man! Don't you know ugly chicks give the best head! lmao

hahaha nothing! I had it in the bag too but I couldn't stop boozing till my body was like hey man, you're messed up, go home.

I think i was roofied.
 
I'm going to be honest she wasn't impressive or anything, like a 4, so instinctively i boozed harder(knob creek and budweiser) to morph her to a 7ish well.... ended up boozing too much...

This post made me feel youthful for a moment. Say, 4's need loving TOO.
 
don't go to a bar by yourself and leave to go downtown with someone else(you just met)when your phone is completely dead. There's a story here lol

Watch the movie, Walk of Shame and you'll swear its déjà vu all over again! Pretty good movie TOO!