My heart goes out to you Dave. Fire can happen even with preventative measures. My house got hit by lightening, 0035, June 18, 2004 and it burned. I my wife and daughter were in it and got out. In the rebuild I put in a lightening protection system and it looks like a N. Dakota barn - but as others have said, it can happen, we all work to prevent it. Every neighbor that has built around me I give that lightening protection advice and the licensed installer.
The trauma of you and your families experience will test you as the patriarch of the clan. From what I've seen on here you have sholders aplenty to lean on, sharing strength. God bless.