Welcome to TheOhioOutdoors
Wanting to join the rest of our members? Login or sign up today!
Login / Join

Man what a night.......

Jackalope

Dignitary Member
Staff member
33,509
201
Alex (Triple88) and I went to a local watering hole again last night. Met some interesting people... There was Mullet man AKA Billy Ray, George Lopez's Mom, Cowboy Bob, Turkey Hunter, and Drunk passed out dude on a bar stool. Alex has pics of some of them..

Mullet man was drunk as a skunk.. Stumbling around the bar slurring to people, Dancing alone he just basically never quit moving... Being the good guy I am i went to the bar to buy mullet man a drink, it was there the bar lady told me others had been calling him Billy Ray. "1 Wild turkey for me and 1 for my buddy mullet man" i told the lady.. She laughed and poured his about a double. It was then on Mullet man was a goner.. He would dance alone which was really just a glorified stumble...

Turkey hunter had a green shirt that said "turkey Hunter".. He was fuggin big time.. lmao.. Said he called in 22 turkeys last year, and shot a bearded hen with a 9 inch beard.. Turkey hunter was putting the moves on George Lopez's mom.. Him and her were freak dancing it up on the dance floor... George Lopez's mom was so drunk she could barely stand... But wait here comes Mullet man to dance some more... Oh no look out! it's a dance off between turkey hunter and billy ray for Ms Lopez.. Tehy reminded me of two Tom Turkeys strutting for a hen. Except they're all plastered.. lmao...

Look at these dudes that just walked in, it's Cowboy bob and his crew... We're talking hats, vest, boots, the whole 9! Right down to the fuggin Spurs.. Yes.. I said Spurs.. Cowboy bob and his crew are fuggin badass and they know it. lmao...

What.. What... What's this... OSU just lost to KY........ A resounding AWWWWWWWWWWW and SHIT goes across the Bar.... Except for the one SEC fan / OSU hater... What's he doing? Standing in the middle of the bar Jumping up and down laughing at the tip of his lungs "HA HA HA HA" and flipping them all off... One guy says to me "You a KY fan" "Nope, just hate OSU" "You don't gotta be a prick about it" I replied "we're all pricks about it no matter the team" "yeah, but your a jackass" I about fell out laughing. Jackassaslop strikes again.. Oh look.. Turkey hunter and Ms, lopez are making out.. WITH TONGUE.. Ewwwwwwwww....

Sitting there talking with Alex.. Here comes some lady whom i didn't have a name for yet.. Not attractive and prolly in her late 40's early 50's... Yes i said late 40's early 50's.... She's all talking to me, rubbing her ass on me while I'm sitting there on the stool, bumping her tits "accidentally" on me... I' trying to contain my laughter and talk with her politely... But she wants the dick and isn't making any qualms about it.. lmao Toby Keith comes on and she's like Ohhhhh, that's my MAN!" ANd she starts about how she loves Toby Keith... WTF Another errant boob just hit me on my shoulder... I get a text from Alex who is just right across the table... ""Blah Blah Bla oh my god... Toby Keith.. I'm a honey badger.. fuck it" rotflmaorotflmaorotflmao.. She was then on known as "Honey Badger" She eventually left me alone and went back to her table .. But Billy Ray saw it, and here he comes and just stands there beside her... He was doing the creep all over the bar.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPZmPaHme0
 

Jackalope

Dignitary Member
Staff member
33,509
201
What about bar stool man.. Well, light's on, bars closing.. All the stools are ontop the bar except one that is occupied by passed out sleeping guy.. A lady in her late 40's taps me on the shoulder... "You wanna take me home.." I said "Honey... Which is it... Take you home, or, give you a ride home.. Those are two different things" :smiley_crocodile:she just rolled her eyes... lmaolmao

So drunk barstool man needs to go.. The bartender shakes him.. nothing.. She shakes him again and says get up... Nothing... She said "this dudes Gone.." :smiley_crocodile: So i grabbed his belt loop and poured some beer down the back of his pants... NOTHING... I said ""Yep.. he's gone.." Everybody busted up laughing... About 5 minutes later Barstool man just spring to life.. Looked around, and made a stagger sprint for the door... Alex said "I think he thought he pissed his pants" lmaolmao
barstool.JPG
 

TripleA88

*Supporting Member*
Had to use some tricks to snag these photos without anyone knowing I was taking them.

Mullet Man


There was also another incident where a fat girl was out dancing solo, shaking her ass. Not sure if you remember Joe but he went in for the kill there. He stumbled over and looked as if he was going to do some grinding, but he just stood there about 3 ft. behind her with his eyes fixated on that ass, and salvating from the mouth.


George Lopez's mom and Turkey Man


Cowboy Bob
 

CJD3

Dignitary Member
Supporting Member
13,062
155
NE Ohio
Sure sounds about par for a local watering hole :smiley_crocodile:

Great blow-by-blow w/ picts! Nice story. Thanks!
 

Buckmaster

Senior Member
13,406
146
Portage
Sounds like a normal night out at the local dive.
I've been to quite a few of them in the day.
The more south you go the better they get.
 

Gern186

Senior Member
Supporting Member
8,368
136
NW Ohio Tundra
Speaking of turkey man, one time we were hunting down by athens and stopped into a real dive bar on RT. 33 late one night......I think it was between Nelsonville and Athens, anyhow, some drunk guy bumped into my uncle and got his beer spilled accidently. So we buy the guy another beer to cool him off a little bit, next thing you know he is telling turkey hunting stories......about how he killed a tom with a 45" beard! There are some dandies down there for sure.
 

Diablo54

Senior Member
7,080
101
Outside
Speaking of turkey man, one time we were hunting down by athens and stopped into a real dive bar on RT. 33 late one night......I think it was between Nelsonville and Athens, anyhow, some drunk guy bumped into my uncle and got his beer spilled accidently. So we buy the guy another beer to cool him off a little bit, next thing you know he is telling turkey hunting stories......about how he killed a tom with a 45" beard! There are some dandies down there for sure.

Hey now dont be talkin bad about my area. Lol
 

Jackalope

Dignitary Member
Staff member
33,509
201
Ugghhhhhhh Today's gonna be a long one...... Least i seen some tittays last night, and got slipped the tongue by a bar whore. ughhh... Whatever... :smiley_coffee: